I Have Nothing to Declare But My Genius

Thirteen Great Quotations By Oscar Wilde:

1) The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing.

2) As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.

3) Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

4) There is no sin except stupidity.

5) When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong.

6) To disagree with three-fourths of the public is one of the first elements of sanity.

7) I sometimes think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

8) Truth, in matters of religion, is simply the opinion that has survived.

9) I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

10) When we are happy we are always good, but when we are good we are not always happy.

11) I can resist everything except temptation.

12) The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.

13) (Sex) is the perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want?

Now, I must give credit where credit is due: the idea for today’s list did not come completely from my mind. Yesterday, when I was sitting at work trying to come up with a topic, my mind was in a fog and it was obvious that brilliance would not be forthcoming without assistance. Then a co-worker came by and asked about my blog. I informed her of my dilemma and she, having a fresh, unhampered perspective, proceeded to rattle off three or four really good ideas. I wrote them all down (for later use) and proceeded to work on the one most suited to a library: to list thirteen of my favorite quotes. I then proceeded to get a book of quotations (actually I used three), and started to browse. I found a couple by Oscar Wilde that really struck home, and that’s when I decided to focus the list on his quotes alone (I found many more than thirteen, by the way).

One note about number thirteen: the word sex is in parentheses because it is not the word used in Wilde’s original quote—which was regarding cigarettes (disgusting things). Not only do I think that my substitution is abundantly appropriate in this statement, but I firmly believe that Wilde would have approved of the change (and indeed may have been his original intent).

Lee

(P.S. The title of this post is another quote of Oscar Wilde)

Slaves to the System

If I had the power to change one thing about the world, it would be to eliminate the need for people to have to work. I don’t mean “work” as in doing things around the house, but being obligated to go to some “job” for 40 (or more) hours each week just to bring home a paycheck.

Now, as far as jobs go, I have a pretty nice one. I work in a library, so things are quiet and relaxed. There is no heavy labor involved, and I get to play on the computer most of the time. But it still doesn’t change the fact that I have to sacrifice a big chunk of my waking hours to something or someone else. Am I the only one to see something wrong with this picture?

I long for the freedom to spend my days any way I want to. Now, I don’t want you to picture me sleeping in until noon and then just playing video games all day. I have so many projects I want to work on, that I’d spend hours trying to list them all (writing is probably one of the biggies). But I get so little time to spend on what is meaningful to me, that many of my projects languish for want of attention.

Since my utopia—with no one having to work at all—may be an impossible dream, I’m willing to compromise. A nice start would be to reduce the amount of one’s time spent at a job (maybe only 20 hours/wk?). Of course, along with that we would also need to minimize (or eliminate) the importance of money over one’s quality of living. How we’d actually accomplish something like that is beyond me, but surely it must be possible—after all, it works on Star Trek…

Lee

Two-Rant Tuesday

Part Two:

I think all people who whistle should die on the spot.

Now, let me explain that my dislike of whistling has absolutely nothing to do with people being overly cheerful. It is simply a dislike for the sound itself: loud, high-pitched, and irritating. For me, whistling is like fingernails on a chalkboard, and it makes me want to go “postal” on the perpetrator.

And then there is the disturbing fact that most of the people who whistle (or hum or sing out loud) are also the ones who are (apparently) the most tone deaf. The kind of people who couldn’t carry a tune if their life depended on it (which it might, if they hang around me too long). It’s noise pollution, plain and simple, and it should be ranked among the most heinous of crimes, punishable by death, to subject other people to their god-awful screeching, squawking, and caterwauling.

And don’t get me started on the most evil noise pollution of all: karaoke…

Lee

Two Rant Tuesday

Part One:

To borrow a phrase from Peter Griffin on Family Guy, I ask: “You know what really grinds my gears?” When people don’t use their frickin’ turn signals! A prime example happened to me just this morning on the way to work. I’m sitting at an intersection waiting to turn left, and there is a car coming from the opposite direction. It’s going a tad on the slow side, and I could probably have made it, but I decide to wait. And what happens? The guy slows down even more and ends up turning right. %$#@! If I had known what he was planning to do, I would have gone ahead and turned.

It’s just common courtesy (not to mention a safety issue) to let other drivers know where you’re going. I can’t tell you how often I’m held up or delayed because I had no idea what the nimrod in the next car was going to do.

And don’t even get me started on old farts who leave their turn signals on for several miles.

Lee

Movie Monday

I saw two really good movies over the weekend, one on DVD and the other was in the theater.

The DVD was the 2003 remake of the Lion in Winter, with Glenn Close and Patrick Stuart reprising the Katherine Hepburn and Peter O’Toole roles. The story (for those of you who are unfamiliar with the 1968 classic which won an Oscar for Hepburn) gives us a riveting look at the tumultuous relationship of Eleanor of Aquitaine and Henry II, and their troubles with their three, power-hungry sons. Both films were based on the same play, and much of the story and dialogue are identical.

Not surprisingly, the production values of the newer version are superior to the original (better sets, costuming, music, etc.), but the most noticeable difference is its length. The original was just over two hours, while the newer film is closer to three (and that, I think, was one of its failings).

Close and Stuart are among my favorite actors and they give wonderful performances in this film (as do the entire cast), but I couldn’t help comparing them to their larger-than-life predecessors and feeling that they just didn’t quite get it right. Don’t get me wrong, the movie is spectacular and there’s technically nothing wrong with it (except maybe its length), but I have to say that I liked the original version better.

My Score (out of 10): 7.5

The other film of the weekend was Neil Gaiman’s fantasy, Stardust. I went into the theater as a blank canvas; I knew nothing about it beyond the bare bones I just laid out in my first sentence. But I love fantasy, and there were some impressive names attached (Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert DeNiro being the biggest), so I was curious to see what it was all about.

Magical. Charming. Heartwarming. Delightful. The film is all of these things and more. Stardust is visually stunning and beautiful, with a well-paced plot that sweeps you along on a wild adventure. Since part of the enjoyment, for me, was not knowing what was coming next, I won’t say another word. Except: Go see this film!

My Score (out of 10): 9

World of the Living Brain-Dead

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I have little or no patience for ignorance or stupidity. Unfortunately it’s a rampant problem and, from my perspective, appears to be spreading. There are times when I feel like I’m in one of those zombie movies, surrounded by ever growing numbers of brainless nimrods. No matter where I run, I can’t get away… They’re everywhere. Even here at the library (where I work) I’m not safe from it.

For starters, a day doesn’t go by that I don’t hear that god-awful mispronunciation of the word “library.” Something in their shrunken zombie brains insists on moving the two R’s together: “li-berry.”

And when they check out, their glassy, vacant eyes watch me stamp the date in the front of the books, but invariably they ask: “When are they due back?” Hel-lo! It’s right there, where I stamped it. Even if I told them, I know they won’t remember by tomorrow, let alone two weeks from now, so why do they bother asking? That’s why we stamp the date in the front of the book.

Sometimes I wonder how these people manage to get dressed in the morning…then again, that may explain something about my rant from Tuesday…

Lee

Like, Totally Far Out!

My Thirteen Favorite Songs from the 80s
(listed chronologically by release date)

1 (1982) I Ran (So Far Away), by Flock of Seagulls
2 (1983) Always Something There to Remind Me, by Naked Eyes
3 (1983) I Melt With You, by Modern English
4 (1983) Our House, by Madness
5 (1983) Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This), by the Eurythmics
6 (1984) Karma Chameleon, by Culture Club
7 (1985) Everybody Wants to Rule the World, by Tears for Fears
8 (1985) Take On Me, by a-ha
9 (1986) Everybody Have Fun Tonight, by Wang Chung
10 (1986) If You Leave, by OMD
11 (1987) Something So Strong, by Crowded House
12 (1988) Shattered Dreams, by Johnny Hates Jazz
13 (1990) Vogue, by Madonna

Wow, I guess 1983 was a good year for music, huh? Actually, the whole decade produced a lot of great music, and this was another hard list to compile (though not as hard as last week’s). Now, I can already hear all of you complaining that number 13 is bending the rules a little. My argument is this: First, no one will deny that Madonna and the 80s are practically synonymous. Second, according to Wikipedia, Vogue was released in the early part of the year (3/90) so it’s probably a safe bet that it was actually written and recorded in 1989. And third, it’s MY list and I can bend any rule I want.

Lee

"Thank You For Being A Friend..."

I got to thinking after posting about the “half doughnut” and mentioning the Golden Girls, that you may not be aware of the fact that I am a HUGE fan of the Golden Girls. I have almost the entire show (sans the last season) on DVD, and before that I used to watch the episodes on a daily basis on cable’s Lifetime network. The show is a classic, and it never gets old for me. I’ve seen those episodes a million times and they still make me laugh like it’s the first time. I can easily quote whole scenes verbatim (just ask Morgen). In fact, the show is so entrenched in my mind that I quite frequently have what I call a “Golden Girls moment” where some tidbit of daily life will suddenly bring to mind a scene from the show. Sometimes there is a direct correlation between what’s happening in real life and the remembered scene, while at other times, the reference is more obscure.

Now invariably, when I get to talking with people about the Girls, I am asked which one is my favorite. For me, that’s an impossible question. I love them all, and each is funny in her own way: Dorothy has that biting sarcasm, Blanche’s nymphomania is always a hoot, Rose’s blockheaded naiveté and St. Olaf stories always make me laugh, and Sophia’s straight from the hip commentaries are a riot.

Personality-wise, I’m probably closest to Dorothy (again, ask Morgen for confirmation). I share her sarcastic sense of humor (I know it hasn’t shown itself here yet, but give it time…) and I often feel I’m the only sane one in the bunch. I lose my patience easily in the face of stupidity and ignorance, but socially I’m not always the most out-going. I have a keen intelligence (especially when it comes to remembering facts and trivia) and would often rather spend a Saturday night reading a good book to going out dancing.

Huh, started talking about the Golden Girls, and ended up telling you a bit about me as well…

Lee

Two-Rant Tuesday

Part Two:

One of my co-workers brought in a box of doughnuts today, and I helped myself to a big, gooey apple fritter after my lunch. And that’s when I saw it: someone had cut one of the doughnuts in half. Please! Am I the only one who’s just a wee bit annoyed by those wimps who won’t eat a whole doughnut, or drink an entire can of Pepsi in one sitting, or insists that you cut a normal-sized piece of cake or pie in half? C’mon people, live a little! Eat the whole doughnut! It ain’t gonna kill ya!

I’m reminded of a scene from the Golden Girls—or as I say among friends, “I just had a Golden Girls moment”—where Dorothy is telling the story of a woman who went to a chic restaurant in Paris but only ordered a salad (because of that evil “D” word). After lunch, as she was coming out of the building, a gargoyle fell on her head and killed her. Look at what her last meal on this earth was…a rotten, stinking salad!

Well, that’s not going to happen to me. I say live Now, because you never know what’ll happen tomorrow.

And besides, do you really think anyone is going to eat your left-over half doughnut?

Lee

Two-Rant Tuesday

Part One:


What the hell is up with people these days and what they’re wearing in public? I mean, I’m all for being casual and dressing comfortably, but there is still a line that you just don’t cross. Now, I’m hardly a fashionista (I think I spelled that right), but there are times I wish I had the authority to go up to people and write them tickets with huge fines for wearing inappropriate clothing in public. You all know exactly what I’m talking about—people who go into public wearing any combination of the following:

-pajama bottoms
-undergarments as outerwear
-sweat pants*
-workout clothes*
-athletic pants/shorts*
-army/hunting fatigues

(*--these items are acceptable if one is in a gym or is out jogging, but not at the supermarket or the mall, etc.)

As far as I’m concerned, the people who dress that way aren’t being casual and comfortable, they’re being lazy and slovenly. There is an almost limitless variety of shirts, pants, and shorts available on the market that are both casual and comfortable, so there is no real excuse. Please people! If you’re going to step out of the house, wear real clothes!

And don’t even get me started on people who can’t coordinate their colors…

Lee

Movie Monday

Following along the lines of last week’s Thursday Thirteen, and my love of good movies, I have decided to start a weekly "theme" post where I will give my reviews and opinions of movies that I have recently seen, as well as films “from the vault” (pointing out really good movies that have been out for awhile, but deserve to be highlighted). From time to time, I may also include reviews of TV on DVD, if I should stumble upon something worth mentioning.

Yesterday (Sunday), I finally got to the theater to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Let me start by saying that I’m not a huge Potter fan; I go to the movies just because they can be fun to watch. The latest installment is more of the same fare, with little to distinguish it from the others, but still worth the ticket price if all you’re looking for is a fun romp.

My Score (out of ten): 7

From the Vault:
Recently I’ve had the opportunity to see a couple of Agatha Christie classics for the first time: Murder on the Orient Express (1974) and Death on the Nile (1978). Both films involved the character of Hercule Poirot, which I have to say is not my favorite Christie sleuth (I’m a Miss Marple fan myself), but there the similarities end. In my opinion, Orient Express (though entertaining in its way) couldn’t hold a candle to Nile. By far a superior film, Death on the Nile had better casting (Bette Davis, Maggie Smith, and Angela Lansbury were all at their campy best in this film), better music (Nile’s music was superb, while the score for Orient Express sounded more like a Muppet movie than a murder mystery), and a better Poirot (Peter Ustinov was far livelier and more entertaining than Albert Finney). And of course, the exotic locales of Egypt didn’t hurt either!

About the only good thing I could find about Orient Express was the bizarre twist (and twisted) ending—it’s almost worth watching for that alone.

My Score (out of ten):
Murder on the Orient Express: 5
Death on the Nile: 7

Attention James Bond Fans!

I am a BIG James Bond fan. I have all of the films on DVD and have watched them many times. I have recently begun reading the original Ian Fleming novels on which the films are based, and I would highly recommend them to anyone who enjoys the exploits of Mr. Bond. They are fun, fast reads (great for summer reading) but be prepared; the books are quite different from the movies.

First of all they are set in the 50s (when the books were written) so the cars, technology, and so forth are a bit dated, but I think that adds to their interest. Secondly, the plots vary from “pretty close” to “no resemblance at all” to the films, so don’t go into them thinking you know what’s going to happen. Comparing the similarities and differences is part of the fun of reading them. Just when you think the book is nothing like the movie, you’ll stumble across a scene that was used almost verbatim in the film. You’ll even encounter scenes in one book that were actually used in a completely different film!

In spite of the reference in the picture, I have yet to encounter Blofeld and his kitty. And while there has been mention of Q branch, there has been no actual “Q.” Bond has his own office and all of his banter is with his own secretary, hardly giving poor Miss Moneypenny a second glance. Gadgetry has been minimal, focusing instead on a sort of gritty realism. But as I am still at the beginning of the series, all of the above may change at any time.

The books were also published in a completely different order from the films. I’ve read the first four (of fourteen) and they run: Casino Royale, Live and Let Die, Moonraker, and Diamonds are Forever. The next title is From Russia With Love. Rather than reading them one after the other, I have been spreading them out and reading other things in between. I’m having such fun with them; I want to extend the pleasure…

Lee

Movie Night

My top 13 favorite films of all time
Presented in alphabetical order:

1) Casino Royale (2006)
2) Charade (1963)
3) Dangerous Liaisons (1988)
4) The Da Vinci Code (2006)
5) Driving Miss Daisy (1989)
6) Ever After (1998)
7) Gosford Park (2001)
8) The Lord of the Rings (2001-2003)
9) Rear Window (1954)
10) The Remains of the Day (1993)
11) Sense & Sensibility (1995)
12) The Sound of Music (1965)
13) The Thomas Crown Affair (1999)

First of all, let me start by saying that this was a very hard list to make. There are so many great films out there; it was hard to narrow the field down to just thirteen. In fact, this list was supposed to be posted last week, but it took me longer than anticipated to winnow out the candidates. I wanted to have a good cross-section of newer films and older classics, though the end result is slightly skewed toward the former—what can I say?

About eight of the titles were obvious picks, and then it got harder. With only five slots remaining, and a lot of good films jostling for position, I had to make some tough choices. In the end, it boiled down to one important factor: which films would I be able to watch over and over without ever getting tired of them?

Some of you may think I’m cheating with the Lord of the Rings (counting three films as one), but if you really consider it carefully you’ll have to agree that technically it’s actually one very long film, broken into smaller chunks for ease of viewing.

And of course, this list is subject to change. New films are being made all the time, and I’m always catching up on more of the old classics. Another powerful movie might come to my attention and demand its place of honor, at which point I’d have to reassess and update the list. But for now, this is how it stands…

Lee

Good Morning!

I love mornings and I am definitely a morning person. In my opinion, mornings are the best part of the day. I feel a wonderful sense of peace in the morning, when everything is quiet and calm. I also feel most motivated in the morning; my mind is more focused and I do my best work during those first couple of hours.

I especially appreciate mornings during the summer, when it’s the coolest part of the day. I want to be up and enjoying that brief time of cool comfort before the full heat of the day sets in. But I enjoy mornings throughout the entire year. During the spring and fall, mornings are fresh, crisp, and full of promise. They make me feel like I can accomplish just about anything. Even a winter’s morning, with its cold stillness can be a special time if you know how to appreciate it.

To me, one of the greatest mysteries in life is why so many people would want to waste a wonderful morning with something as mundane and lifeless as sleep. Oh well, I guess that just leaves more for me…

Lee

Stormfront

In the early hours of the morning, I was awakened by a thunderstorm. It was a pretty active one: not much wind, but lots of lightning and thunder and rain. Y’know that trick for determining whether a storm is approaching or leaving by counting the seconds between the lightning and the thunder? You couldn’t do that with this storm because the lightning strikes were coming one right after the other, so you had no idea which thunderclap went with which lightning strike. It was spectacular!

I love thunderstorms, by the way. They’re one of the few good things about summer.

When a storm hits during the day, I love how the sky gets ominously dark, and you can watch the swirling cloud formations. But I really love the ones that hit at night. I love to lie there in the dark and just listen to it. And when it’s a storm like the one this morning, it’s cool to watch the ever-changing patterns of light and dark that flicker and flash, making the shadows move and making ordinary things in your room come alive. And I love the low, booming thunder that you can feel in the depths of your bones.

Maybe you’ll think it strange, and maybe not, but there is something about the savage fury of these storms that speaks to my soul. Rather than nervousness or fear, I feel only exhilaration and—in a strange way—peace. I often wish that storms like these would happen more often, but maybe their very rareness makes them that much more special.

Lee

I Love 'Em...I Hate 'Em...

I have a love/hate relationship with computers. In general, I’d have to say that computers are okay. They can help with a variety of tasks, and make life easier. But invariably they break down, and that’s where the “hate” part comes in. Files and programs get corrupted, or they simply refuse to work when “this” isn’t compatible with “that”, and don’t even get me started on how quickly things become outdated or obsolete.

All of these things are becoming more and more prevalent in the computer at home. Outdated systems and a crappy ISP combine to create an internet experience that is sub-par at best. Slow isn’t the word for it. Sometimes it just stops working. There are times when it can get so frustrating that I just want to take a sledge hammer to the damn thing.

I often toy with the idea of getting rid of the thing altogether. Would not having a computer really make my life more difficult…or would it actually simplify things? Sure there are things I would miss, but might the peace I would gain in return eventually outweigh those things? The jury is still out on that one, but I’m getting closer and closer to pulling the plug every day.

For now, don’t expect many updates on the weekends. I have internet access at work (with a lightning-fast DSL connection), so that’s where most of my posts will be coming from.

Lee

Seasonal Misery

I really, really, REALLY hate summer.

For those of you who may have read my first blog, you will already know this, but it bears repeating. In my opinion it is, by far, the worst of all seasons. Every year in late May, the temperature starts rising and my spirits start dropping. I cannot tolerate heat of any kind, and as it gets hotter I have less energy or motivation to do anything. By the time we get to the merciless, blistering heat of August, I am downright miserable.

I hate being all sweaty and sticky. I hate stepping outside and being instantly assaulted by blast furnace temperatures. Unless you are blessed with a working air conditioner (which I am presently without), it is completely impossible to get comfortable in hot weather. No matter what you do. You can be completely naked in front of any number of fans drinking ice cold beverages, and you still feel like you’re slowly melting.

But I keep telling myself that we’re over the hump. There are fewer days of summer ahead of us than behind us. It’s the worst part of the summer, but it’s almost over. Autumn is just around the corner…

Re-Opening the Labyrinth

Hello everyone, I'm back.

I've decided that I'm going to give this blogging thing another try. Some of the crazy in my life has settled down, and I'm in a place where I feel more inclined to participate. I can't promise that this time around will last any longer than the last one...I can be weird and unpredictable about these kinds of things, and if I'm feeling the least bit dissatisfied with how things are going, I'm liable to pull the plug again.

But let's think positive and hope it never comes to that.

-Lee